Retinal Detachment

Grace's eye doctor appointments are probably one of the most dreaded appointments for me.
For many reasons.
I can hardly wrap my mind around everything there is to know, or understand, in dealing with retinopothy of prematurity {ROP}.  Our doctor is AMAZING but is quite limited in her ability to explain things "down" to me.  Of course I get the gist of it, but all the little factors playing in to it are harder to understand.

Even though we've been fully {medically} prepared for what is most likely to happen in her future, it doesn't get any easier hearing.

Her vision, as it has in all previous visits, is worsening.  Her refraction has grown again to -24 and lots of additional scripts have been added.  I already turned in her script to be sent off for new lenses so I don't know the exact numbers but Dr. B said it was bad.  The worst she'd ever seen.

She also said, for the first time in 4 years, that Grace is in the early stages of retinal detachment, causing permanent blindness.

If you imagine the palm of your hand, with blood vessels drawing toward the center of your hand, from the outer rim of you palm... is a "normal" eye.  Then imagine an inner circle about half the size of your palm with nothing inside the circle.  This is where ROP comes in.  Instead of the vessels growing out in her eyes, they have stopped, then surgically treated to "trick" the eye as if they did grow out.  But we've come to a point where most people do what have stage 5 ROP.

Grace's retina is stretching and thinning.  As our doctor explained, if you imagine something expandable {chewing gum, rubber band, etc.}, then begin to stretch it.  The more it stretches the thinner it becomes until it snaps and breaks.
Unfortunately, that is exactly what position Grace's are in now.

Dr. B said aside from that, she is VERY happy with where Grace is right now.  Grace does exceptionally well, much to all of our surprise, with how well she seems to see things.  Of course she knows no different, and most children do not realize how poor vision their vision is until later.

We are being followed very closely.  Dr. B also said not to involve her in any such sports where there would be a lot of physical bumping of her head.  Specifically no soccer where they bounce balls off the head.
At least she will {hopefully} be able to play for a couple years before they learn to use their head...
She's been wanting to play soccer for a long time now :(  And yes, wearing two different shoes is just how we roll here :-)

We're not sure where this leaves us.  But HE does.  God knows every detail to the very end of Grace's future.  My heart aches to be standing before this time, knowing my sweet girl may never physically see her own sweet baby...

I'm also wrapped in comfort of blood of Jesus.  Not only did HE bless me with Grace & Faith, I also have a greater opportunity to know an even deeper depth of love, and the greatness of who HE is in my life as I surrender my baby girl to HIM.
in a way that makes me physically ill.

And I chose to praise HIM through the fear.  And know that HE will carry us when that time comes.